Legolas, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann
by Engwarothiel
Summary: What will Elizabeth say when she sees her one true love kissing an Elf? (slight slah, but not too bad)
1. Will meets Legolas

Will Turner was happily walking down the street humming to himself when all of a sudden a blonde woman ran by him screaming. Running after her, was a rugged man with a sword. Will ran after them, hoping to save the lady (he had forgotten all about that wench Elizabeth Swann.ooh I HATE HER!!! HATE HER! HATE-oh yeah.erm..anyway.) So, brave Will Turner drew his sword and killed the man who we all knew as Aragorn. The blonde woman, who we all know as Legolas, rushed up to Will and thanked him again and again. Will then realized this was no woman. "WOAH! I thought you were a -" "Duuuude looks like a laday!" sang the decapitated head of Aragorn. "Well.yeah," agreed Will with a kick at the head, sending flying down the hill (yes, there was a hill). "Well, you can pretend I'm a lady," said Legolas flirtaciously, looking Will up and down. "Ummm." Will was getting uncomfortable. "I'd rather not. Why was the singing head guy after you?" he said, changing the subject as fast as he could. "Oh, him? Let's not talk about HIM." whispered Legolas, advancing towards Will (who was backing away). Legolas touched Will's shoulders and pulled him close. "Let's talk about US." "Ummm..okay.you're blonde, I'm brunette, THERE! We talked about us, now, I really must be go-" But that was all he could say before the Elf planted one on the human, who was squirming desperately to get out of the gay blonde's grasp. But when he turned his head from the Elf, he saw none other than Elizabeth glaring at him. Still being kissed and licked by Legolas, he tried to say, "Elizabeth I -kiss- am not -kiss- gay! It's not -lick- what it looks -kiss- like!" "Oh sure! My only love has cheated on me with a man! What does he got that I don't?" Legolas stopped kissing Will and shook his lower body to emphasize the stupidity of her question. "That came out wrong," Elizabeth said. The Elf went back to kissing Will, who was turning pale with embarrassment and terror. "FINE!" Elizabeth shrieked, running away. "WILL YOU STOP!?" Will shouted at Legolas. "You've ruined everything!" Suddenly the Elf's big blue eyes filled with tears and a pout formed on his mouth. Will's stern eyes softened. Even the most heterosexual man alive could never escape the Elf-Pout. "Oh.fine." Legolas immediately looked happier and resumed his kissing, Will groaning with misery the whole time. 


	2. Jack meets Legolas

Jack Sparrow was sitting at his desk on his beloved ship The Black Pearl. The waves rocked him back and forth, but he decided to go up to the deck anyway. Jack then saw that a storm was just up ahead, but being stupid, he decided to just go along into it. Suddenly, Jack was thrown overboard. "Christssake!" he yelled midway. "Am I the only one on this bloody thing?" "Yes Jack," said the Narrator. "Why?" "Cuz you're creepy." "If I'm falling that small of a distance, how can we be having this conversation?" "Since you put it that way, SPLASH!!!!"  
  
Jack Sparrow plunged into the water and knocked his head against the side of the ship. When he woke up, he was in for quite a shock.  
  
"You're alive!" said Valley-Girl voice. "OMG! I SO thought you weren't going to make it!" Jack opened his eyes and saw a blonde we all know as Legolas sitting in front of him. "I had to do a little CPR, but nothing major," continued the California girl.or was it a boy? An it? WHAT WAS IT??? "Um.what's your name?" croaked Jack, thinking that would clear everything up. "Legolas." "Ah." Jack said, his plan crumbling. He thought of a plan B. "Do you have a romantic partner?" "Yeah, a boyfriend named Aragorn. He's bisexual though, but he dumped that witch Arwen for me." "Oh." Jack simply could not figure out if it was male or female. "Uh." He needed a plan C, FAST! "So.have you ever dated a girl?" he said, careful to not emphasize the word "girl". "No!" Legolas said, disgustedly. A girl then, Jack thought. "So, Miss, where am I?" asked the pirate. Legolas remained silent, smiling at the things around him. "Miss?" The Elf did not respond. Then the horror struck in. Jack finally realized with terror.this was a MAN!!! "Mister?" he asked. "I'm not the master!" he said. "MISS-ter," corrected Jack. "Oh." he sounded disappointed. "WHERE AM I?" "Umm.I don't really know. All I know is that there is this HOT guy named Will that I just made out with-" "You're GAY?" Jack said with horror, backing away. "Wait. WILL'S GAY?!?!" "If he wasn't before. nevermind." Legolas said smiling broadly. "Oh no." 


End file.
